An Unrelenting Gnawing at My Soul

The Listeners by Walter De La Mare

Public Domain, link copied from

http://www.poetryfoundation.org

‘Is there anybody there?’ said the Traveller,   

   Knocking on the moonlit door; 

And his horse in the silence champed the grasses   

   Of the forest’s ferny floor: 

And a bird flew up out of the turret,   

   Above the Traveller’s head: 

And he smote upon the door again a second time;   

   ‘Is there anybody there?’ he said. 

But no one descended to the Traveller;   

   No head from the leaf-fringed sill 

Leaned over and looked into his grey eyes,   

   Where he stood perplexed and still. 

But only a host of phantom listeners   

   That dwelt in the lone house then 

Stood listening in the quiet of the moonlight   

   To that voice from the world of men: 

Stood thronging the faint moonbeams on the dark stair,   

   That goes down to the empty hall, 

Hearkening in an air stirred and shaken   

   By the lonely Traveller’s call. 

And he felt in his heart their strangeness,   

   Their stillness answering his cry, 

While his horse moved, cropping the dark turf,   

   ’Neath the starred and leafy sky; 

For he suddenly smote on the door, even   

   Louder, and lifted his head:— 

‘Tell them I came, and no one answered,   

   That I kept my word,’ he said. 

Never the least stir made the listeners,   

   Though every word he spake 

Fell echoing through the shadowiness of the still house   

   From the one man left awake: 

Ay, they heard his foot upon the stirrup,   

   And the sound of iron on stone, 

And how the silence surged softly backward,   

   When the plunging hoofs were gone.

–\\\\\–

Well, here I am again. I tried to give up this bad habit of paying good money to people so I could write things for other people to read. I managed to successfully stop it a few years ago with respect to what I had come to think of as the loathsome Facebook . In this comeback posting, I begin by quoting someone else’s poetry, maybe as a way of trying to explain myself.

Last year I committed myself to discontinuing this WordPress chronicle. I had written about the things I thought about and worried about; I wrote about my church and its internal debates over social principles; I wrote about my community’s fine arts council and its theater programs, and, in general, many things that are not of interest to most readers. Besides, what do I really have to say about political issues that has not already either been born or batted around online? I read the opinion pages in national papers and I know that there are many better educated and informed people saying the things that needed to be said regarding our civic lives. Saying it all here seemed to benefit no one but myself and an irrepressible egotistical desire to attract attention. I let my subscription to the service run out. But then I wavered again.

WordPress gave me another chance to re-up, as online services almost always do. And I did. I renewed the service and will be here at least through April of 2027. So why did I decide to continue?

Most importantly WordPress emphasizes content rather than user relationships. As I remember it, people typically used Facebook posts to craft a story of their lives as they wanted friends to see them: wealthier than they really are, cooler than they really are and more well read than they really are. And, of course, kinder than they really are to their precious pets which are presented as cuter than they really are. And they undoubtedly wanted you to see it and ‘friend’ them or give them a ‘like’.

It would be disingenuous to say that I am not interested in presenting my life as one of distinction. People who know me know that I try to post things I have spent some time thinking about not just what I had for breakfast, or the cute thing my cat, kid or dog did nor my immediate reaction to what I saw on the evening news or picked up online. I do my very best (most of the time) to say something I really need to say because of its informational or moral relevance for readers and all the people in this world we share.

I don’t fish for readers. What I think about and write is here for anyone who reads it. In fact, I heard a little poem today on the podcast Poetry Unbound. The title is “The Listeners.” It is in the public domain and I led this discussion with it.

When I read the Walter De La Mare poem, I see myself as the Traveller as I send these chronicles out to phantom listeners (readers). And you would be one of them. Not just to you, but to that phantom being we call a soul. Whatever it is that I need to say, it is of ultimate concern to me and it is my responsibility to let anyone within reach of my voice know that I came and that I kept my word. These are things I must say because it is a duty of citizens to speak and, especially, of things that constitute one’s ultimate concerns.

If no one answers my knock, still, I am keeping my word. It is important to me to come calling on you because I have been feeling lately a gnawing at my soul: the world is rotting all around me and people who see something must say something.

Is anybody there? May my soul speak with yours?

Once more: From Hell

Well, good morning from Hell again.

I know you are wondering how I can call this Hell if I can’t even talk about our duly elected president, Congress, and his appointed and confirmed courts. I have dismissed him and his Space-Cadet-in-Chief from our discussion because it would be altogether too easy to assign them all the blame, remove them from office someday, and we would still have — Hell. Even if we rid ourselves of the governing powers in Texas. Yes, still Hell.

Obviously I’m not talking about an eternity in that fiery underground furnace we heard about as children or the one considered credible by many Christians, but the one we live in every day.  Even if we include Texas politics, we wouldn’t quite drop to that level. And it does promise to be another hot summer in Texas here south of town.

The hell I’m talking about and the one we live in today and every day is the one:

Where people’s rights are extinguished by the power of the state. That’s one aspect of the hell of everyday life in this world. If you don’t feel that this applies to you, good for you. But it is still hell for most of the people inhabiting our planet, including many who live in this country. Yes — our citizens, too.

Where weapons are easily accessible and where teenagers use them to settle arguments and to express their frustrations with the institutions they encounter on a daily basis, or even their parents. Where they use them, not for sport, but to kill. That’s another aspect of Hell. If your child has not been shot at school or shot someone, it’s still Hell that you live in every day even if it comes your way only as fear or maybe the guilt you feel for being a part of a civic culture that has allowed it.

Where there is starvation on a prosperous and resource-rich planet. Where low-cost, starchy, fat-laden, salty and sugar-loaded fast foods fill the diets of children instead of balanced meals around family tables. Where many children in other parts of our planet simply starve to death. Not even a McDonald’s to fill their stomachs.

Where people suffer and die needlessly in a nation, indeed a world, of seemingly limitless medical knowledge and ability. It’s what happens in Hell.

Where we encourage some to profit from our burning fuel that exhausts a suffocating gas into the air — air that is no less than the essence of God’s breath.

Where religions persist in holding onto conflicting beliefs that are no longer of service to either man or God, then dedicate themselves to wiping out those who disagree with them. People are left searching for the moral and unifying leadership that could help them find a better life for themselves and all the other people on the planet. And while they search, the princes of Hell have their way.

This was a hell that existed long before we allowed any particular political leadership to come to power. All of it was building for all the millennia of our existence. We might even have found a name for it — call it original sin. And no, there are no exceptions. We all own it. We either enjoy its supposed benefits or we enjoy profits from the production and distribution of Hell’s products. 

And all political parties and all countries own it. It was not invented by the Republicans or the Democrats. Nor was it invented by our duly elected president. He has just openly enjoyed its perfection for his own benefit more than any other president. A $400,000,000 luxury airliner from a foreign power he does business with through his family? Only a loser would say, “No, thank you” and walk away.

Many of us were taught to think of sin in individual and sexual terms. But that is so limiting. And it leaves us free to benefit from all the pleasures Hell can produce for a few at the expense of the many — the least, the last and the lost. 

Think about the House version of the Big Beautiful Budget and tax bill. Huge tax breaks for billionaires and more modest ones for middle class people, paid for in part by cuts to Medicaid, SNAP (food stamps) and other vital services for low income families and individuals. If you are one of the middle class Christian voters whose silence is bought by those minuscule tax cuts, square that with your Holy Communion prayer:

Merciful God, we confess that we have not loved you with our whole heart. We have failed to be an obedient church. We have not done your will, we have broken your law, we have rebelled against your love, we have not loved our neighbors, and we have not heard the cry of the needy. Forgive us, we pray. Free us for joyful obedience, through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.

This Hell has many aspects that this little essay does not even touch. Privatization of almost anything for profit. Prisons. Schools. Monetary systems. Wanna buy a $trump memecoin? Now, there’s a Ponzi scheme that operates at an international level right out of our Oval Office.

Yes, it dawned here in Hell this morning, already sunny to partly cloudy and hot. And it’s promising to get even even hotter over the years and centuries.

Some in this hell have worked every day to perfect automata that can survive our physically frail humanity with an artificial intelligence unweighted by thoughts of beauty, justice, love and altruism — each one of them a winner designed and encased to thrive in whatever climate and temperature Hell might serve up. 

Humanity, as we know it, is but a distant memory in the circuits of whatever it is that may survive us. Maybe the robots of the future will think of the humanity of the past as God. More likely, they will have been programmed to see us as a bunch of losers.

But there was a man in our history who tried to help us understand what people do when motivated solely by self-interest. He taught that there was a better way to live — we could make this into heaven, here and now. We could all learn much from his teaching. Think about that and find a place to attend a service this coming Sunday.

There were leaders who founded other religions and denominations teaching similar concepts. But Jesus is the one I have studied more fully as a United Methodist Christian.

If worship doesn’t appeal to you,  think of it as study. See if you can identify that church’s vision of heaven from the songs, sermons, prayers and the welcoming behavior of the people you meet.  If the vision you see does not seem consistent with the vision of the gospels, maybe you should find another church, denomination, or even religion. There are other religions whose practices are more consistent with the teachings of Jesus than those of a good many nominally Christian churches and denominations. And, in any case, God’s grace reaches out to all mankind.

And if you can’t quite bring yourself to get up and go to church somewhere, come back here on Monday and I’ll do the preaching.


Good Morning from Hell

Hell?

This doesn’t seem like Hell. There’s this long and beautiful marriage, two wonderful children and five grandchildren — all of them perfect. A church and a center for arts and sciences with friendships of many years. The pantry is full. The AC keeps me comfortable day and night. I have more doctors than I once had school teachers in high school. My church is involved in mission projects, a food pantry, assisting in a local elementary school, and help for people in need of financial assistance. And if I need, more likely just want, a new electronic toy, Amazon can have it on my doorstep tomorrow. Some of us are getting along quite well.

But something is amiss in our politics.

The president’s authoritarian character is not news anymore. I refer you to well documented reporting in established national media. The president, of course, denies anything that doesn’t glorify him and he decries “mainstream journalism” as creators and bearers of “fake news.”

But that’s just another tool in the authoritarian’s toolkit. 

I will also spare you the well-worn comparisons with Hitler, Mussolini, and Stalin. Those can be found anywhere except maybe in Fox media, controlled by the Rupert Murdock family, or the many informational hellholes you can read into on social media. 

However, if you discard these comparisons as illogical name-calling, I refer you to The Rise and Fall of the Third Reich, a report on events in Germany in the 1930s by a CBS and UPI reporter, William L. Shirer. Adolph Hitler was Shirer’s subject with a tip of the journalist’s hat to Benito Mussolini and our ally in the European war against fascism, Joseph Stalin.

But I suspect Hitler did not consider either CBS or UPI to be a credible news source. 

Shirer’s book is one of those thick ones. You may not choose it for bedtime reading.  But if you do, follow it up with On Tyranny: Twenty Lessons from the Twentieth Century by Timothy Snider. That’s a short one and easy to read. Invest a few dollars and put it down beside your evening devotional guide. Read a chapter every night before you say your prayers. You will pray more fervently.

So forget about Trump for awhile if you can. Forget all about what many see as readily apparent indicators of an authoritarian future for the United States of America. Think, instead, about where we live now and where we have lived throughout the lives of most of us — Hell.

Really? How could one possibly call this Hell?

More tomorrow about the hell we live in and how it looks from the south of town.

From the Times on the Debasement of Language

Here is a piece from the New York Times on the way our current politics is undermining the language as a way of representing truth. Way to go, Cougars. (And I don’t mean University of Houston.)

No university should allow itself to become associated with this trend. Lying is not a protected form of speech.